Moments
by adorbskatic
Summary: A series of Castle one-shots; "She could call him, should call him, but their fight had hurt, his words had dug up old wounds, and she isn't quite sure she can forgive him yet."
1. One

A/N: So, I got the idea for this while listening to the song 'One' by Ed Sheeran and wrote it as soon as I got home... the lyrics don't really play a part in the story, but they did inspire it, so I thought I would include them.

* * *

_Tell me that you turned down the man_

_Who asked for your hand_

_'Cause you're waiting for me_

* * *

He knows who it is before he opens the door- well, he doesn't _know_, but who else would be knocking on his door at 12 am on a Monday night. He opens it to see the woman he expected to see, smiling up at him. Not her usual smile though, this smile isn't the one that he has grown to love over the past couple of years, this one's sad, almost broken.

"Kate," he opens the door, slightly perplexed as to why she would be here at this hour, but gestures for her to come inside nonetheless. "What are you doing here?"

She doesn't answer him, instead just walks into him and wraps her arms around his torso, resting her head on his chest. He welcomes her almost immediately, wrapping his arms around her, still mildly confused as to why his partner, and the woman whom he loves, showed up at his door at midnight.

"Josh proposed." She answers belatedly, still holding onto him, no emotion in her response.

Rick stiffens then.

_Shit_.

"Congratulations." He somehow manages to get out. He hopes that his voice didn't betray him, that the word sounded at least a little bit genuine, although he doubts it.

"I said no." Kate states flatly.

"Why?" He asks, honestly confused. It comes out as a breath, which was definitely not the way that he had hoped for it to come out, but he guesses that it's too late for it to matter now.

"I-" She lets out a breath and separates her body from his, moving into his living room and sitting down on the armrest of his couch. He joins her, sitting on the chair that faces her. "I don't love him." She answers with a shrug, eyes focused on the intricate details of his area rug instead of him. "I never have, and honestly I don't know if I would have ever been able to. I thought what we had was working, both of us not caring that we were too busy to really see each other. I was just looking for a distraction, and I guess he was looking for something more."

"I'm sorry Kate."

"He broke up with me when I said no, not that I'm surprised." Kate let's out a sigh. "He told me that I was never really in the relationship; he thought that I was just using it as a place to hide from-" she stopped abruptly, presumably noticing that she was revealing too much.

"What did he think you were hiding from what, Kate?"

There's a pause before she answers.

"My feelings for you." She looks up then, finally making eye contact with him, and he's taken aback. No, she hasn't technically admitted to those feelings, but if Josh suspected that they were there, so much so that it lead to the demise of their relationship, maybe she did have feelings for him.

"Were you?" He asks, purposely keeping his tone even. He knew that if she said she didn't have feelings for him that it would break him, but he didn't want her to know that. He didn't want her decision to be affected by how he felt; he wanted for her to be fully honest with him.

She doesn't break eye contact with him, but she doesn't answer him immediately either. She sits there, staring at him, an emotion written across her face that he can't quite place. She stays that way for what to him feels like forever, but in reality is probably only a few moments, before she stands.

"Yes." Kate answer's, eyes still connected to his, as she walks towards him.

"Yes?" He asked, slightly awed by her confession.

"Yes." She replies confidently. She's standing in front of him now, a hopeful smile on her face.

He remains still for a few moments, trying to process what she just admitted, before he asks her what this means for them.

"Well," she says as she sits down, her voice cautious, different than what he's heard from her before. "I love you, and if you feel the same way, or think that you could, I'd really like to-"

He doesn't let her finish; as soon as his mind processes that the words 'I love you' came out of her mouth, his lips are on hers.

"I love you too, Kate," He murmurs against her mouth after they pull apart. "So much."

* * *

A/N: I've been working on a few seperate stories recently and decided instead of posting them individually, I would just post them here. Leave any prompts you would like you see filled!

PS. I have not abandoned Begin Again, it's just a pretty heavy topic and recently I've been dealing with some things making it hard to write that kind of subject matter. I have about 700 words of the next chapter, so I should finish and update that soon, but I don't want to make promises as of when. You guys are awesome, thank you x


	2. You're My Best Friend

Season Four AU: Pre Couple – Kate has been having nightmares and keeps showing up at the loft / calling castle over to her apartment in the middle of the night to comfort her.

**a/n: strayed a little bit from the prompt, sorry about that. I imagine this taking place early season four. Also (loosely) took inspiration from the following lyrics as well:**

"_One night he wakes, strange look on his face_

_Pauses, then says, you're my best friend_

_And you knew what it was, he is in love"_

* * *

"Kate," Rick answers into the phone, his voice rough with sleep. "It's 2 in the morning – are you ok?"

He hears her breathing, but she doesn't answer.

"Kate?" He asks, his concern beginning to grow.

"Yeah, you know what, I'm sorry it's late I'll talk to you-"

"Kate, no, what's wrong?"

"I just- I had a bad dream, that's all." He can tell she's trying not to cry. "It's fine, I just needed to hear your voice, sorry."

"I'm coming over."

"Castle-"

And then the line goes dead.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later and Kate is opening the door to her partner.

"Castle, I'm fine." She mumbles to Rick as he pulls her into a hug.

"Kate, your eyes are puffy and the remnants of your makeup is smeared, I can tell you've been crying. Now why don't we sit down and talk about this dream of yours?"

She sighs but doesn't ask him to leave, which he takes as a good sign, so he releases her from the hug and takes her hand in his, leading her over to the couch before sitting down and pulling her into him. He sits there and watches her, his eyes full of patience as he waits for her to begin talking.

"I-" She takes a breath. "Instead of me being shot at Montgomery's funeral it was you." The tears are back, flowing heavy down her cheeks when he pulls her in even closer, tight enough that she thinks she may stop breathing. He runs his hands through her hair as she sobs, clutching her to him as if he's the one who needs her, not the other way around. He presses kisses to her scalp and whispers sweet nothings to her until her breathing evens out and she's calmed down.

"I was so scared, Castle." She murmurs, so quietly it's almost in audible. She's quiet for a moment before continuing. "I'm so sorry."

He pulls away enough to look at her. "Hey, shh," He whispers, brushing a stray hair away from her face. "What are you sorry for?"

She looks down at her lap as she answers. "For leaving you; you had no idea how I was doing, you didn't even know if I was alive. I told you I would call, but I- I just couldn't. I was too scared, but Castle, I can't even imagine what you went through over the summer."

"Kate, hey, it's okay." It wasn't, but he knew telling her that right now would do nothing but make her more upset.

"No," Her voice is raised, she's looking at him now. "It's not okay, why won't you just admit that?" She stares at him, the exasperation clearly etched onto her face.

"Okay, you're right, it's not okay." He replies solemnly. "But there's nothing we can do about that now, so there's no point lingering on the pain, is there?"

Kate stares at him for a moment, then shakes her head and almost immediately she's back hugging him.

"Thank you," She whispers, gripping him even tighter. "For everything."

Rick manages to loosen her hold on him briefly, allowing him to steal a glance at the clock.

"Hey, it's almost 3, why don't we get you to bed."

She gives him a weary smile, nodding in agreement.

"Are you staying?" Kate asks, turning to face him, as she leads him blindly through her apartment and into her bedroom.

"I don't know, I should probably get going."

"Oh, yeah, okay." She stops and gives him a small smile and tries to hid the disappointment in her response, but really, all she wants right now is for him to stay with her; to hold her when the nightmares come, whisper calming words into ears and press kisses to her scalp until she's okay.

He notices her disappointment though, the same way he notices everything about her, so he questions her. "Do you want me to stay?"

"If you have to go, then go." She tries to remain nonchalant about it, but right now she doesn't really give a damn if she's coming across as needy. He's her partner, the person she trusts, cares about, and loves more than anyone. She needs him right now. "But if you can stay, please do."

She's already turned back around, continuing on the path towards her room, so she misses the grin that's gracing Rick's face right now, which he is grateful for because if she were to see how happy he was about that statement, he knows that he would never live it down.

—

She stays asleep, for the most part, until around 5:30 when she's awoken by Castle rubbing her back and whispering something in her ear that she can't quite comprehend, so she rolls over and stares at him, eyebrow raised.

"Oh, good, you're up."

"I am now," She grumbles. "Want to tell me why?"

"You were having a nightmare."

"Oh,"_ How sweet of him_ "Thanks."

"Did you want to talk about it?"

"Honestly, most of the time I don't remember them. I didn't even realize I was having a nightmare when you woke me up."

"That's good."

"Yeah, I guess it is," She smiles at him. "Can we go back to bed now?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Rick lies back down and rolls onto his side, opening his arms out to her. "Come here."

She shifts towards him, positioning herself so that her back is flush against his chest. He wraps his arms around her torso, pulling her in as close as her can, resting his nose in the nape of her neck, breathing her in. Why couldn't she just tell him how she felt about him so he could stay with her like this every night? _You know why Kate. _Yeah, she does. She knows that she needs to get better first, that she needs to be able to tear down that wall before she can start a relationship that she wants, well, needs, to be successful. _You know what? I'm done waiting._

"Stop thinking so loudly." He murmurs against her skin, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Sorry." She mumbles.

"What were you thinking about?"

She turns in his arms so she can face him, leaving his face only inches from her own. She smiles at him, then leans in and brushes her lips against his, before pulling back and whispering her response. "You're my best friend."

He smiles a smile so bright that she thinks he could light up a city with it, before pulling her back in, this time deepening the kiss, filling it with all of his love for her.

"You, Katherine Beckett, are my best friend as well." He whispers to her between kisses.

—

**A/N:** **This doesn't mention past occasions of him helping her through her nightmares, so I was thinking that this could be the start to a series of one shots based around that idea… let me know what you think? **


	3. Diamonds on the Floor

**A/N: **I've had zero motivation to write recently... started this a while back, finally got around to finishing today so thought I'd post it... Let me know what you think x

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Set somewhere in the middle of season five; AU of sorts

_And she says oh  
I can't take no more  
Her tears like diamonds on the floor  
And her diamonds bring me down  
Cause I can't help her now  
She's down in it  
She tried her best but now she can't win it  
Hard to see them on the ground  
Her diamonds falling down_

* * *

She gets like this sometimes, not often, but when it happens he never sees it coming.

This time he wakes at three in the morning and finds himself rolling over into a mass of cold sheets instead of the warmth of her body. He panics at first, his sleep muddled brain still wary of her leaving him in the night, but the panic subsides just as quickly as it arose when he sees the light shining from his office. And then it clicks.

He gets up slowly, edging closer to the side of his bed with each move, before standing and walking towards the door. It's almost closed, so he pushes it quietly in an attempt to keep his presence unknown. She's faced away from him, legs curled under her is his chair by the window. She's staring out into the night but he knows that's not all it is; the only time she ever comes out here at this time of the night is when she's lost herself.

This has happened before, less than a handful of times in their few months together, and he's starting to realize what she needs.

"Hey," it's comes out quieter than he originally intended, but in an afterthought he realizes that's for the best. She doesn't turn to him, or show any acknowledgement that she heard what he said, but she did, he knows that. "Everything okay?"

She turns to look over her shoulder, giving him a watery smile, and he sees the tears trailing down cheeks.

_Oh, Kate. _

"What's wrong?" He's kneeling in front of her now – and not entirely sure how he got to the opposite side of the room – her hands held loosely in his, his eyes focused solely on hers.

She doesn't reply, not with words.

Instead she's pulling herself into his lap, wrapping herself around him, and sobbing into his neck.

"Shh, Kate," He's trying to be soothing, but he's not sure it's helping. "It's okay."

"Castle, no it isn't." She mumbles into his neck.

He's not sure what's wrong, not this time, but he knows better than to argue with her.

"Okay, so maybe it isn't." She pulls back from him a bit, enough so that she can look into his eyes as he talks, see her pain reflected on his face, and he takes that opportunity to wipe away her tears. "But it will be. Not right now, but soon."

"How do you know?"

He doesn't know – not for sure – but it's her, it's them, and whatever the problem is they'll make it through it the same way they always do – together.

"I know because it's us, Kate," She gives him a watery smile, but he can tell that she still doesn't quite believe him, doesn't quite believe that she'll get through this. "Whatever it is that you're going through, we'll make it through together, like we always do."

She doesn't say anything after that, not for a while, at least. She just lets him hold her, lets him help her in the only way he currently can. He whispers words of comfort into her hair as he rocks her, hopes that it's helping her in some way or another, but he isn't sure, he's never sure when she gets like this.

But that's something for them to discuss in the light of day, not in the darkness of the night when the only light she can find is him. So he spends the night holding her, keeping her together as much as he possibly can, and piecing her back together when she falls apart.

* * *

**A/N: **Also, loved the finale last night, but no idea how I'm going to survive the hiatus wow (SO happy Stana signed on though!)


	4. Bedroom Interrogation

_A/N: This is just a super short _oneshot_ that I did for the flashfic challenge, but I haven't posted to this story in a while so I figured this was an easy place to start? As always, feel free to leave and kind words or prompts in the review section x_

* * *

It's a game he'd suggested recently – a few months after she had come home – after they'd decided that from here on out there would be absolutely no secrets between them.

_Bedroom Interrogation_, he had called it. _The rules are simple, Beckett. Whenever either of us thinks the other is withholding something, no matter how small, we'll confront them… in the bedroom._

It had seemed ridiculous at first, but he'd gone on to explain the logistics, told her that it would be a questions and answers game, that for each answer the other would provide, they'd be rewarded in whatever way the asker saw fit… and now that Kate found herself pinned beneath Rick, his weight pressing her to the mattress in all the right places, the game seemed a lot more fun than she had originally thought.

"Ready for your first question, Kate?" He mumbles against her neck in-between open-mouthed kisses that already have her head spinning.

"Sure," she breathes out in reply. She knows the secret he's after, knows she'll end up telling him in the end, but that doesn't mean she's going to give it up easily.

"You've been acting weird lately," he moves his mouth further down as he asks, begins nipping at her collarbone, one of his hands drifting from its place on her waist up and under the shirt – his shirt – covering her stomach. "Why?"

"That's not a fair question, babe," she answers, rolling her eyes even though she knows he can't see it.

"Why not?" he whines, pulling back from where he had been nipping at her collarbone, eliciting a groan from her. "It's my question to ask."

"Because if I told you why I've been acting differently then you would already know my secret."

"Ugh, Beckett," Castle whines, allowing his hand to resume its roaming on her stomach, bringing it to rest just below her breast, rubbing his thumb back and forth. "You're no fun,

"It was your idea to play this game, Rick, I would have been perfectly happy just discussing whatever we may have been keeping from each other and then having sex," she answers. "No need to combine the two."

"So," he muses, his eyes staring down at her, darkening with arousal. "Why don't we just do that then?"

"Hmm," she mumbles, as though she's actually contemplating his request. "I may need just a bit more convincing."

"Say no more," Rick growls as his hand begins to drift from its place at her breast, drifting lower and lower until it reaches the waistband of her boy shorts and - she grabs his wrist, laces their fingers together before flipping them. She leans down to kiss him as she grinds her pelvis into his and places her mouth at his ear.

"We're having a baby, Rick."


	5. Please Come Home

Set late season 5, anytime before 5x23 (the human factor) (ps special thanks to Alex for beta-ing, you're lovely)

* * *

"Please come home," his voice rings through the phone, his words pleading.

She replays the voicemail again, listens to his apologies as she stares down at the dark liquid in her mug, focusing on the spoon she's circling around the edges of it, and watching the lightness of the cream mix with the darkness of her coffee.

She could call him, should call him, but their fight had hurt, his words had dug up old wounds, and she isn't quite sure she can forgive him yet.

* * *

_"All you ever do is run Kate, how am I supposed to know that won't be the case when we have kids?" he asks, his voice low, and somehow his subdued, quiet anger seems scarier than the thought of him yelling._

_"Rick," she replies. "That's not me anymore. You know that's not me anymore."_

_She hasn't run since before they were together, since that summer after her shooting, but something has stirred up this uncertainty in him and she can't figure out what it is._

_"Do I?"_

_"Rick, I love you, more than anything," she promises, her voice even, calm, trying not to make the situation any worse. "And when we have kids, and I want that to be a when, not an if, I'll love them even more. I promise you, I will never willingly leave either of you, not ever."_

_"You can't promise that, Kate."_

_But she can, she will._

_"Don't you trust me?" she asks, this time allowing the hurt she's feeling to slip into her words._

_"It's not that… I just –"_

_"What?" she questions when he doesn't continue, annoyance slipping into her tone._

_"Never mind, it's nothing. Let's just drop it."_

_"Rick."_

_"I said drop it." He's tense, upset, so she will. For now, at least._

_"Okay, yeah, fine. I'm gonna to go, though. I'll be back in a bit, I guess," she says, grabbing the jacket she had left on the chair on her way in, throwing it on as she heads towards the door._

_"Kate, wait –" he pleads, his footsteps echoing as he follows after her._

_"I'll see you later," she replies, not turning back as she closes the door behind her._

* * *

She wandered the streets for a while, aimlessly, didn't want to go back to her apartment, not without him, but she'd been hurt, confused, and she wasn't sure she as ready to go back to the loft, not yet.

She found herself outside of Karma's, a coffee shop she began frequenting after she stayed with him a few years back. It's close to the loft and open at all hours so she'd grown fond of it, began coming more and more often, especially after she began seeing Castle. She looked up, found the blue sign flashing "24 hours" comforting, familiar, and walked inside, ordered a coffee from Stacey, a barista she's become friendly with over the years.

"You okay, Kate?"

"Fine," she'd assured, smiling as she accepted and paid for her coffee. She walked to the back of the shop, finding their usual booth empty, the worn navy blue leather seats calling her.

She's been here for an hour now, the majority of that time spent listening to his voicemail, the rest contemplating their relationship. He said he hadn't meant it, that they'd talk more about it when she came home, but something had shaken his trust in her, and she wanted to figure out what it had been.

She'd brought up the idea of having kids, something she'd thought he wanted, and that had sparked something. He started questioning her, asking how he could trust her after that summer, but she thought they were okay now, had moved past that.

Apparently not.

She can't figure out why he would think she'd leave him, them. Can't figure out his apparent trust issues. She loves him, would love their child just as much, more even, and she can't even fathom the thought of leaving her family, all that she's worked so hard for, behind.

And then it clicks – Meredith.

She's an ass. She should have realized, should've thought he'd have these insecurities given her track record on top of his history.

She's running out the door then, leaves a tip on the table as she pulls out her phone sends him a quick text.

Coming home, see you soon… K. xx

She hails the first cab she sees, gives the driver Rick's address as she pulls the door shut behind her, sinking back into the worn seat with a sigh.

* * *

She's in front of the loft in record time, promised the cab driver an extra ten if he could get her there safely five minutes faster, and she smiles at Eduardo as he opens the door for her, greeting her with his usual smile.

She opts for the stairs, needs to be moving, to both clear her head and burn off the nerves that had blossomed in the cab on the ride back.

She knocks when she gets to his door, can feel his key burning a hole in her pocket, but it doesn't feel right, not right now.

He opens the door almost immediately and she throws her arms around his neck, apparently startling him as he stumbles back into the loft, his hands finding purchase on her waist, before wrapping his arms around her back and pulling her in close.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, pressing a kiss to her hairline. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

"Hey, no, it's okay," she murmurs, pulling back enough so that her eyes can meet his. "I should have realized what sparked it, I'm sorry. But I'm not Meredith, Rick, I want you to know that I'll never do that to you."

"I know I just reacted poorly I'm sorry. And no, you shouldn't have to –" the rest of his sentence is silenced by the soft press of her lips.

"How about we both accept just one another's apologies and go to bed, okay?" she asks, already walking them towards the bedroom, her hand holding his.

"Okay." he replies, allowing her to lead him to his – their – bedroom.


End file.
